


Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again

by dykerey



Category: Naruto
Genre: Discord server, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gen, Group chat, I love Sasuke, Kinda, M/M, Out of Character, chatfic, lots of narusasu, needs more friendly sasuneji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 07:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18494290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dykerey/pseuds/dykerey
Summary: my names sasuke and im a leo: and that’s why i think gay people have no rightsjackass, but gayer: sasuke i think you really made points. have you considered making this into a ted talkmy names sasuke and im a leo: no omg that’s a great idea thanks sai <3jackass, but gayer: no problem <3offscreen screaming: literallt what the hell guys.





	Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again

**Author's Note:**

> hi *dumps this here* i was bored and this is bad
> 
> sasuke is "my names sasuke and im a leo"  
> naruto is "my names naruto and im a libra"  
> sai is "jackass, but gayer"  
> sakura is "offscreen screaming"  
> ino is "lesbians *cheering*"  
> tenten is "girl eye"  
> hinata is "one day im just gonna fucking snap"  
> shikamaru is "Do Not Disturb"  
> kiba is "Stoner Central"  
> neji is "Hyuuga Neji"  
> lee is "YouthfulLee2216"  
> kakashi is "Rattling the bars of my jail cell"
> 
> enjoy i think. if u can. this is messy and set up like a discord server

** Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again  ** (#shenanigans)

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** no, really. tell me how you really feel, sai. let it all out. im dying to hear

**jackass, but gayer:** i think you’re a limp dicked motherfucker and you should have never been born

**my names naruto and im a libra:** cmon guys, can u pls get along for once :(

**jackass, but gayer:** no

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** absolutely not naruto

**my names naruto and im a libra:** right sorry im asking too much again or whatever.

**jackass, but gayer:** oh fuck

**jackass, but gayer:** sasuke this is your fault

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** you literally started the fight it was completely unprovoked. go apologize to naruto right now before i kick your ass

**jackass, but gayer:** no

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** you have 3 seconds

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** 3

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** 2

**jackass, but gayer:** 1

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** 1

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** youre double dead douchebag

**offscreen screaming:** what the hell guys

 

 

**

 

 

** Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again  ** (#what even are gay people anyway)

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** and that’s why i think gay people have no rights

**jackass, but gayer:** sasuke i think you really made points. have you considered making this into a ted talk

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** no omg that’s a great idea thanks sai <3

**jackass, but gayer:** no problem <3

**offscreen screaming:** literallt what the hell guys.

 

 

**

 

 

** Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again  ** (#i think sasukes in love with naruto)

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** naruto where are you

**my names naruto and im a libra:** sorry omg im coming <3 hope u didn’t wait long for me sweetheart

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** only like 5 minutes so you’re okay

**my names naruto and im a libra:** ok good… you know i hate to keep you waiting

**jackass, but gayer:** sasukes pining for you rn naruto its disgusting. do you want a photo

**my names naruto and im a libra:** yes.

**jackass, but gayer:** image.png

**my names naruto and im a libra:** and i said that’s my baby

**jackass, but gayer:** hes blushing

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** sai you have 3 seconds.

**jackass, but gayer:** image.png

**jackass, but gayer:** hes still blushing

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** omg im literally gonna kill u after my date with naruto.

**jackass, but gayer:** id like to see you try

**offscreen screaming:** what the hell goes on

 

 

**

 

 

** Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again  ** (#Oh Babey)

**jackass, but gayer:** it’s not my fault i can’t help it if his boyfriend wants to have sex with me. i didn’t even know they were dating

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** sai you still count as a homewrecker they were engaged

**jackass, but gayer:** not my fault that the sex was so good he dumped his boyfriend. in unrelated news i have a stalker now

**my names naruto and im a libra:** sai i think you should apologize

**jackass, but gayer:** im not a doormat

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** but you are a homewrecker

**jackass, but gayer:** sasuke open your door.

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** im not even at home jackass. check and mate homo

**jackass, but gayer:** naruto open your door

**my names naruto and im a libra:** okay ! why?

**jackass, but gayer:** i want to see you let me in

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** naruto don’t do it

**my names naruto and im a libra:** too late

**jackass, but gayer:** sasuke you have three seconds

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** fuck you man

**offscreen screaming:** im too busy for this fuckshit what the hell is going on in here anymore

 

 

**

 

 

** We-Are-All-Hate-Men-(now-with-snacks!)  ** (#i think we ALL love sakura)

**lesbians *cheering*:** hey girls is anyone here

**Girl eye:** yea whats up

**lesbians *cheering*:** i need to talk shit

**offscreen screaming:** you have no idea how fast i just left my office. omw

**One day im just gonna snap:** on my way as well!

**Girl eye:** me too!

**lesbians *cheering*:** women *cheering*

**jackass, but gayer:** ino can i come too

**lesbians *cheering*:** sai how did u even get into this server

**jackass, but gayer:** you added me once when you were hammered

**lesbians *cheering*:** that makes sense

**jackass, but gayer:** _@offscreen screaming_ how come you never talk in the team 7 chat and talk so much in here

**offscreen screaming:** _@jackass, but gayer_ because i don’t get paid enough to deal with all of u. and i talk in here because i love my friends

**jackass, but gayer:** honestly. i respect that

 

 

**

 

 

** Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again  ** (#Kakashi If You’re Reading This Run)

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** hey has anyone seen kakashi lately :)

**my names naruto and im a libra:** ….why

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** no reason :)

**my names naruto and im a libra:** oh

**my names naruto and im a libra:** then no

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** see if i do anything for u later

**my names naruto and im a libra:** u know u can never resist my puppy dog eyes

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** shut up ur practiced and im a sap

**my names naruto and im a libra:** i know <3 it’s so cute

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** stop ur so embarrassing naruto….

**my names naruto and im a libra:** my tsundere bf……….i kiss

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** omg…stop

**my names naruto and im a libra:** are u busy rn

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** no why

**my names naruto and im a libra:** i want to kiss u pls come over

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** ok omw <3

**offscreen screaming:** _@jackass, but gayer_ this is why im never fucking in here

**jackass, but gayer:** can’t say i blame u

 

 

**

 

 

** Konoha’s-Whorehouse  ** (#saturdays are for the boys)

**Hyuuga Neji:** Personally, I found myself incredibly offended.

**Do Not Disturb:** I didn’t think it was that big of a deal honestly. sai has done way worse. Remember when he stole Genma’s boyfriend on accident

**jackass, but gayer:** i repeat i did not know they were dating

**jackass, but gayer:** neji sorry to sound ignorant but what about releasing a sextape is offensive?

**Hyuuga Neji:**  You released someone else’s sextape.

**jackass, but gayer:** it was too good not to be shared

**Stoner central:** cheers ill drink to that bro

**Stoner central:** where tf is naruto btw

**Do Not Disturb:** ask sasuke

**Stoner central:** _@my names sasuke and im a leo_ where’s naruto

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** hi this is naurto whats up

**Do Not Disturb:** jesus christ

**Stoner central:** dude we need u rn me and shino are in full crisis mode

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** um okay give me 5 minutes to shower and get dressed

**Stoner central:** tmi bro tmi

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** ur just jealous bc my boyfriend is sexy and u don’t even have one

**Stoner central:** im straight bro

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** i see the way u look at neji sometimes

**Hyuuga Neji:**  Excuse me?

**Stoner central:** DUDE THAT WAS OUR SECRET

**Hyuuga Neji:**  I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative.

 

 

**

 

 

** Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again  ** (#i think kakashi has rabies)

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** you guys are all assholes

**jackass, but gayer:** but we’re your assholes right

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** gross i don’t want 4 assholes

**jackass, but gayer:** 4? i thought only us two sakura and naruto were in this server

**my names my names sasuke and im a leo and im a leo:** kakashi added himself yesterday

**jackass, but gayer:** what the fuck

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** he gave himself admin status then demoted the rest of us so we can’t even kick him. his roles literally named “april fools homos”

**jackass, but gayer:** its august

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** try telling him that

 

 

**

 

 

** We-Are-All-Hate-Men-(now-with-snacks!)  ** (#lesbians .. applause)

**lesbians *cheering*:** and its like. i know sais socially inept but does he have to act like that every time?

**offscreen screaming:** isn’t he still in this server babe

**lesbians *cheering*:** its sai do you really think he cares

**jackass, but gayer:** sorry i just rolled kurapika on mudae. whats up what did i do now

**lesbians *cheering*:** youre a slut

**jackass, but gayer:** honestly…i can’t argue that

**jackass, but gayer:** but seriously what did i do

 

 

**

 

 

** Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again  ** (#whos doing it like naruto)

**my names sasuke and im a leo:**   i love my boyfrien

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** d

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** my boyfriend anruto

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** whom i love ery much

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** naruto

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** omg that was embarrassing who stole my phone :speak_no_evil:

**jackass, but gayer:** sasuke this is just embarrassing

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** at least i haven’t ruined four perfectly healthy relationships

**jackass, but gayer:** at least im not gay

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** you literally are

**jackass, but gayer:** asshole... stoptrying to dictate my sexuality

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** bitch

**jackass, but gayer:** …...bitch

**offscreen screaming:** _@Rattling the bars of my jail cell_ are you seeing this are you fucking seeing this

**Rattling the bars of my jail cell:** sakura they are friendly friends having a friendly fight. i don’t see an issue

**offscreen screaming:** youre useless and i hate this entire team

**my names naruto and im a libra:** the gangs all here :D

**my names naruto and im a libra:** btw sasukei love u <3

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** how embarrassing for u

**my names naruto and im a libra:** when we get married im demoting u to flower boy. asshole

**offscreen screaming:** can you guys please save this for your private messages.

 

 

**

 

 

** Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again  ** (#girl problems)

**offscreen screaming:** hi guys can i vent

**jackass, but gayer:** don’t you usually just talk shit in the girl’s server

**offscreen screaming:** this is about ino

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** theres a girls server?

**jackass, but gayer:** oh, then go ahead

**jackass, but gayer:** theres a guys one too are you not in either

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** im in the guys one just not the girls one

**jackass, but gayer:** how sad for you.. you must feel so excluded

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** asshat

**jackass, but gayer:** that’s my name don’t wear it out

**offscreen screaming:** guys this is serious

**jackass, but gayer:** sorry sakura

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** ^^

**offscreen screaming:** anyways ino and i have been flirting for months and before u guys make a stupid “useless lesbian” joke (those are tasteless and outdated anyways) i genuinely can’t tell if she likes me or not. and ive loved her for yrs obviously and i know shes not homophobic but i don’t want to confess to her bc i don’t want to ruin our friendship? i would feel better confessing if i knew she liked me but she genuinely flirts w everyone and i just don’t know

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** ino 100% likes you sakura

**offscreen screaming:** but how do you know

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** she texts me about u everyday like “omg sakura looked so good today” and “i want sakura to sit on my face”

**offscreen screaming:** you guys are that close?

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** no but she tells me anyways

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** just kidding we do yoga together and now we’re actually really good friends. she’ll probably get mad at me for telling u but she gets the girl of her dreams out of this so she can’t kill me

**offscreen screaming:** sasuke i can’t believe im saying this but i love u so much thank u

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** <3

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** don’t tell anyone i sent that

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** or that i told u about ino

**offscreen screaming:** ur secret is safe w me

 

 

**

 

 

**Ino** (@lesbians *cheering*#0613)

**offscreen screaming:** hey can we talk

**lesbians *cheering*:** top 10 most anxiety inducing messages ever but yes of course always

**lesbians *cheering*:** whats up baby girl

**offscreen screaming** um

**offscreen screaming** so

**offscreen screaming** hypothetically. i have this friend

**lesbians *cheering*:** okay

**offscreen screaming:** and this friend is in love with her best friend

**lesbians *cheering*:** im following

**offscreen screaming** and wants to confess but doesn’t know how to tell her. any suggestions

**lesbians *cheering*:** she should say something like “hi im in love with you”

**offscreen screaming:** hi im in love with you

**lesbians *cheering*:** exactly like that

**offscreen screaming:** ino

**lesbians *cheering*:** what?

**offscreen screaming:** im the friend, dumbass

**lesbians *cheering*:** oh

**lesbians *cheering*:** OH

**lesbians *cheering*:** SAKURA??&*($$Q($Q

**offscreen screaming:** yes

**lesbians *cheering*:** are you saying what i think youre saying

**offscreen screaming:** yes

**lesbians *cheering*:** where are you right now

**offscreen screaming:** my apartment

**lesbians *cheering*:** im on my way

**offscreen screaming:** can’t wait <3

 

 

**

 

 

** Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again  ** (#party time)

**offscreen screaming:**  guess who has a girlfriend motherfuckers

 

 

**

 

 

** Konoha’s-Whorehouse  ** (#sasuke is a hate crime)

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  lets kick sasuke from the server for a second

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** what did i do

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  nothing i just need to gush about u but don’t want u to see :)

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** ok but add me back afterwards

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  ok baby <3

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  anyway sasuke has the prettiest eyes and he gives really good hugs

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** im still here

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  i know. i wanted u to see it

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** idk…sounds gay

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  it is <3

**Do Not Disturb:** you two are literally nauseating get away from me

**Stoner central:**  bro i want a girlfriend

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  don’t u mean boyfriend

**Stoner central:**  naruto be QUIET

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  not a single one of us except lee is straight kiba we all accept u <3

**YouthfulLee2216:** Hello Friends! I Am Indeed Straight.

**YouthfulLee2216:** However, I Am Trans! :D

**Stoner central:**  the LeeGBT community

**YouthfulLee2216:** I Am Honored!

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  i love my boyfriend

**Hyuuga Neji:**  Naruto, I assure you we are more than aware at this point.

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  yes but i love saying it

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** naruto weve been dating for four years..

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  <3 and it never gets old

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** omg

**jackass, but gayer:**  hes blushing again

**jackass, but gayer:**  image.png

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** sai start running.

**jackass, but gayer:**  xoxo <3

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** anyways. i love my boyfriend

 

 

**

 

 

** Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again  ** (#kakagai is canon kings)

**offscreen screaming:**  who told u all kakashi and gai were dating. that’s right. it was me. pay up motherfuckers

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** (spits) fuck you

**offscreen screaming:**  $50 cash sasuke

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** you have no proof

**offscreen screaming:**  screenshot.png

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** well you got me there

 

 

**

 

 

** Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again  ** (#kakashi comes clean)

**Rattling the bars of my jail cell:**  gai and i are married so now you all owe me $100

**Rattling the bars of my jail cell:**  for betting on my relationship and for doubting that i wouldn’t date/marry that perfect specimen

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** im screenshotting this and showing it to gai

**Rattling the bars of my jail cell:**  he will cry and never let u go are u sure that’s something you want sasuke

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** was that a fucking threat?

**Rattling the bars of my jail cell:**  :)

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** right. $100 it is

 

 

**

 

 

** Naruto-Love-Club ** (#sasuke loves naruto)

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** and its like. whos doing it like naruto you know

**jackass, but gayer:**  sasuke this is humiliating for you really

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** im sorry whos the one in a healthy and loving relationship right now?

**jackass, but gayer:**  me

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** wait omg really

**jackass, but gayer:**  yes <3 me and shikamaru

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** i thought he was dating chouji

**jackass, but gayer:**  wait is he

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** sai you didn’t

**jackass, but gayer:**  i think i did

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** sai……..

**jackass, but gayer:**  sasuke……..

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** please talk to shikamaru about this

**jackass, but gayer:**  if you admit youre whipped for naruto

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** i am whipped for naruto. apologize to shikamaru

**jackass, but gayer:**  he actually did it….the madman

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** im right fucking here

 

 

**

 

 

**Shikamaru** (@Do Not Disturb#2258)

**jackass, but gayer:**  hey man we’re not dating right?

**Do Not Disturb:** where the fuck did you get that idea?

**Do Not Disturb:** no. we are not. I am happily dating chouji

**jackass, but gayer:**  omg <3 cute

**jackass, but gayer:**  just had to make sure. im a thot

**Do Not Disturb:** I know

**jackass, but gayer:**  you say the sweetest things

**Do Not Disturb:** get the fuck out of my messages

 

 

**

 

 

** Naruto-Love-Club ** (#sai is a good human)

**jackass, but gayer:**  i talked to shikamaru

**jackass, but gayer:**  we are not dating

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** wow you humaned. so proud of you

**jackass, but gayer:**  do you ever wonder why you have no friends

**jackass, but gayer:**  its because youre an asshole

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** sai we talk every single day

**jackass, but gayer:**  and?

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** as much as it pains me to admit it

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** i think

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** we would be considered friends

**jackass, but gayer:**  excuse me i need to go vomit

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** likewise

 

 

**

 

 

** Who-Let-Sai-Out-Of-The-House-Again  ** (#bromance)

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  sai and sasuke finally admitted they like each other omg

**Rattling the bars of my jail cell:**  #ProudDadMoment

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** if i killed kakashi would anyone mind?

**jackass, but gayer:**  no

**offscreen screaming:**  fine by me

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  not your best idea

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** overwhelming majority says yes. kakashi start running

**Rattling the bars of my jail cell:**  #EvenProuderDadMoment

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** i hate you

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  the gangs all here again :D can we go out to eat

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** not until i kill kakashi

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  but do you want to deal with the consequences

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** consequences?

**Rattling the bars of my jail cell:**  my husband

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** ah.

**my names sasuke and im a leo:** no

**my names naruto and im a libra:**  see you all in ten!! you know the place <3

**jackass, but gayer:**   _@Rattling the bars of my jail cell_ youre paying

**Rattling the bars of my jail cell:**  not if we dine and dash again

**offscreen screaming:**  we are NOT dining and dashing again asshole

**Rattling the bars of my jail cell:**  if you say so

**offscreen screaming:**  god literally what the fuck

 


End file.
